Wednesday, March 24, 2010

why am I so cranky?

grouch

I just realized that I am entering a strange new world. Here are two variables that are at play.

Variable one - less time
I have less time for work and daily things because I am doing a great job on PCP (food prep, measuring, working out, blogging, the list goes on. So there is some work piling up it seems.

Variable two - less cushion
Literally (belly) and emotionally (eat to feel better). I get happier, laugh louder, get more aggravated , moodier than I ever remember. My family is getting more of this - good and bad.

For the second time in a week I came home from church in a great place and "events transpired" that brought the walls crumbling down. That really tires me out. I need to lay down. I am looking forward to the treat tomorrow.

I am going to get an oatmeal raisin cookie or a piece of apple pie. I think the cookie.

4 comments:

  1. Not to sound preachy, but a good way to try and smooth out the peaks and valleys: sitting zazen every day. I definitely notice I am more reactive (up and down) when I miss my daily sitting, more accepting and less sensitive when I sit. Then again that is even more time not doing all the other stuff you want to do...

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  2. I am sure you are on to something.

    Yesterday I slept in and got out the door late, I did not sit quitely not did I do the writing I habitually do. That really helps get me into the day with plenty of strength and reserve.

    Oddly both day we were visited by very old wounds - memories of hurtful experiences were a major component of the pain and subsequent crankyness. I feel like I am working through significant life long residue. I think to get to the other side of this process I need to keep going through things as they appear.

    But I need to start the day in the best possible way

    Go team Go

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  3. Watson, I've also grown much crankier in the morning. From reading other Peaker's blog, mood swings seem to be something we experience in the PCP.

    It's sometimes hard when we revisit these old wounds that come up. I like to treat them like waves crashing on the beach. Give them a few seconds, let them rush up the sand, and watch them retreat into the ocean of your mind.

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  4. Great metaphor

    Thanks for listening and writing. There is real power in speaking and being heard.

    WJ

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